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Putting Myself First: How Bariatric Surgery Changed My Life
As a mother of four children, each with their own unique disabilities, my life was consumed with caregiving. Every moment of my day was focused on supporting them and making sure they had what they needed. Somewhere along the way, I forgot to prioritize myself. My health slipped further and further down the list, and I found myself battling weight gain and emotional eating. After my first child, I developed hyperactive thyroid issues, which made it even harder to manage my weight. Then, just 18 months later, I had my second child, followed by my third two years after that, and my fourth 18 months later. My body was under immense strain, and yet, I never put myself first.
With the weight of caregiving and the stress of managing life with four children, dieting seemed impossible. I tried every diet imaginable, but nothing worked long-term. The weight always came back, and the struggle felt endless. I watched shows like My 600-lb Life, but I never saw myself in those stories. I didn’t think I could ever end up like the people on that show.
Everything changed after a lunch with a friend who had undergone bariatric surgery.
She encouraged me to put my name on the waiting list, even if I wasn’t fully convinced yet. "You can always say no later," she said. That simple piece of advice was the beginning of a transformation I didn’t see coming. I added my name to the list, thinking nothing of it. The wait was long—3.5 years—and in the middle of that, COVID-19 hit. During the lockdown, like many people, I turned to food for comfort and gained even more weight. But when my referral came up in June 2020, I knew it was time.
In July 2021, I underwent bariatric surgery, and it changed my life. The surgery was more than just a way to lose weight—it was a tool that helped me regain control over my health. Before the surgery, I had been diagnosed as pre-diabetic. I knew my health was heading down a dangerous path, and I needed to take action. The surgery not only helped me shed the weight, but it also gave me back the physical and emotional energy to be the mother I wanted to be.
Post-surgery, I faced the challenge of learning to balance my relationship with food. Food had always been a coping mechanism, and now I had to navigate a new way of living. But through this process, one of the most unexpected gifts was a deeper connection with my children, particularly one who was struggling with addiction. We bonded over our shared understanding of battling addiction, and it brought us closer than ever before.
Today, I feel empowered by the changes I’ve made, both for myself and for my family. It’s beyond losing weight; I’m now able to be present—physically and emotionally—for my children. I still struggle with body dysmorphia at times, and I catch myself pushing chairs and tables out of the way, thinking I need more space. But I remind myself that I am healthier now, and I can be the mother my children deserve.
The most rewarding part of this journey is seeing the people around me find the courage to take their own steps toward health, inspired by my story. It’s empowering to know that I’ve sparked change, and I’ll continue to be there for them, just as I’ve learned to be there for myself.
